Last week there was a little disagreement over the assignment of services between myself and the other classmates. I’ll be honest with you, since the beginning, I’ve been a bit of a fifth wheel. Since Day One, I’ve sat at a table by myself, while the remaining students partnered up. This usually meant that when it was time to demonstrate a procedure, I either had to grab someone fast, switch off in a group of 3, or more often get paired with a student from the quarter ahead. Now that we are all getting ready to graduate, the climate is more competitive.

After the disagreement, only one out of the four came to talk to me. We’d always been friends and she’s wonderful, so that didn’t surprise me. The other 3 gave me the silent treatment for the remainder of the week.

Monday nights we have theory class. We’ve got these carts that we need to pack for the NC State Board Practical Exam. They include a lot of very specifically labeled and sized ziploc bags filled with specific materials used to perform services on a mannequin. At first we all rallied and began getting everything ready together. It was fun, but highly disorganized. I prefer to work alone, but I did enjoy the camaraderie that night (the calm before the storm).

After the blowout, when the girls weren’t speaking to me, I noticed they had gathered in the parking lot, working out further details of how they were going to put together their carts. Knowing that I would most likely be excluded from this process, I made a mental plan of when & how I was going to get everything together.

It took my trusty label maker and I from 10am to 4pm on Sunday meticulously labeling and clipping each set of bags together and throwing them into the correct drawer… but it got done. I even got the makeup portion together and included one of the palettes from my kit for good measure. I subbed washcloths for the towels that we hadn’t yet been provided by the school. Basically, all I was lacking was the mannequin and a few products. I was all set!

When I got to class this Monday, I was the only one who had prepared everything. The others were still typing and printing out labels because one person had agreed to purchase a label maker and make labels for the whole group. Because of everyone’s crazy schedules, they couldn’t meet ahead of time, so they were all scrambling, confused, with a pile of unlabeled bags that they couldn’t remember packing the week before. I admit, when I was going through, I ended up with some extra and some short of a few things, but it all evened out in the end. And luckily, being a makeup artist didn’t hurt because I had a lot of things in my back-stock at home.

I’m also the only one who is on schedule with taking the weekly comprehensive exams.

I realize that the girls who are still a little cold to me are probably even more resentful at this point, but now that I’m on schedule or ahead of the game, I’m not sure that I care. At this point, I’ve done what I need to do. And I’ll continue to do so. The State Board Exam can only be passed by the person taking it. There are no teams. I hate that there was a misunderstanding that created a rift, but I don’t regret the chance to break away and begin working by myself. I happily prefer it. It’s where I excel.

See you at the finish line…

This photo reminds me of a trip I took a few years ago.
The trip that changed my life…

At the time, I was writing restaurant reviews for ZSpotlight, and their Romance section was severely lacking. A few months prior, I’d read Cindy Chupack’s “The Between Boyfriends Book” and pitched an idea I’d gotten from one of her essays. The premise was, “How many bad dates do you have to go on in order to get to a good one?”

MySpace was all the rage and everyone seemed to have a profile. I was going to pick an eligible local bachelor who I’d never met before and ask him to accompany me on a restaurant review. Then I would write about it. I’d put each date story together until I’d finished the article, but would still keep cranking out the restaurant reviews. No one would know what was transpiring. All participants would be left anonymous. It seemed like a genius plan… Until I fell for the guy from Date #1.

I was so meticulous. I must have browsed each guy’s photos about 100 times before deciding who to pick. I’d already made dates with 2 dudes, but I hit it off with #1 from the start. He was sorta nerdy, but attractive, absolutely brilliant, polite, and he knew exactly how to deal with me. Date #2 was a complete disaster, mostly because I wanted to be with #1.

I selected him for two reasons:
1. On one of my makeup gigs, I was hired to do headshot makeup for the staff of a company that was re-launching their web presence. There was a guy who had never used hair product, but I thought for sure he needed it. All the girls gave him a hard time as I ran my fingers through his hair and I remembered thinking, “This guy is kinda awkward, but cute.” The headshot he had on MySpace made me do a double take… It was him.
2. In his photo albums, there was a picture of him eating something with chopsticks that I would never dream of putting in my mouth. Since the review was for a sushi restaurant, I knew I’d need backup to eat the stuff I wouldn’t dare. He was perfect.

We saw each other most of that Summer, which culminated in a trip to Puerto Rico. I was ecstatic. It wasn’t often I was taken anywhere by someone I’d dated. In fact, it was previously only to visit their family or once I tagged along on a business trip. I had no idea what to do. I packed all of the cutest outfits I owned. He was a triathlete. I’d never set foot in a gym and had no idea what a protein shake tasted like. I had no idea what I was dealing with.

To him, vacation meant runs on the beach, hiking through rain forests, swimming laps, walking tours… Most of the clothes he’d packed were for exercise. Everything I’d packed was for fun. My years of leisure had caught up with me. I was in the worst shape of my life, at least 40 pounds heavier… I’d reached the point where doing nothing just wasn’t going to cut it anymore. Sedentary desk job be damned!

Hiking through the rain forest, traversing the courtyard between the two historic forts, up the stairs, down the stairs, blistering sun and no air conditioning… I went from sexy pinup goddess to sweaty, makeup-smeared dirtbag in 2.6 seconds. It was beyond humiliating. I had to keep stopping to catch my breath. I knew I was going to have to make some changes. This out-of-shape, lazy, flabby dirtbag simply wasn’t who I was.

As soon as we returned home, I marched my happy ass right into the gym and scheduled 3 workouts a week with a personal trainer. The weight came off… right down to 115 pounds. It took a long time, but it was worth it. And with that goal met, I set more… and more… and more. That one trip and that epiphany set me on a different path. And I will forever be thankful for the fire that was lit under me because of it. Not just because of the weight, but because of the goals, the motivation, and the realization that anything I set my mind to, I am able to accomplish.

This is my life right now. At the moment I have 3 balls in the air. I’m trying to balance my life between my full-time job at the NCDOT (Work), being a full-time night/weekend student in Esthetician School (School), and my Makeup Business (Freelance Makeup). Notice how there isn’t a ball in the air for my personal life, myself, my family, music, fitness, or anything remotely fun. I’ve been functioning this way since October. If anyone has learned the value of the word “NO,” it’s me.

Most people’s juggling acts look like this. They have only 3 categories to worry about: Life, Work & Fun.

At the moment, I don’t have that luxury. I know that I’m missing out on many things. I’ve also had to give up a few things that were really important to me. It’s been a tough lesson. But with all great life lessons, there is a cost.

I’ve learned what is truly important in my life. Having no time for nonsense of any sort has made all the nonsense go away. It’s like I posted a sign, “I’m Unavailable for Nonsense.”

People who only wanted something from me have all but disappeared. When you stop making yourself available, one of two things is going to happen:
1. People will miss you, let you know it, and reach out to you.
2. Life will go on without you and those who never truly cared about you will find what they need somewhere else.

It’s nice to feel needed, but it sucks to be used. I was once so trusting.

I’m looking so forward to finishing up school and replacing that ball. Soon everything will fall into place. It’s already started.

It’s absolutely true, the old adage that “Life is what you make it.”

Some struggle and curse through, some laugh and don’t take things seriously, others glide through and take the path of least resistance. Me? I like to consider everything as an adventure. Sure, I’ve gotten into plenty of mischief, had my heart broken, made some mistakes… but I’ve also done my share of gliding through along the way.

Most of my life I’d been very cautious, not taking a lot of chances, not expressing my true self, not reaching for the moon. Timid. Shy. Scared. Then one day… everything changed. It’s like something inside me awakened.

Now I’m taking on all the things I’ve always wanted to do, facing down challenges and meeting them. I aspire to be the best ME that I can be. After all, is there really anything else?

My current adventure is Esthetician School. I only have a few months left until graduation and I’m absorbing information like a sponge. The schedule is extremely taxing since I already work full-time, but I’m really into this. I started out just wanting to get on the map with the NC Board of Cosmetic Art Examiners, but now I’m really getting into all of the new techniques and technologies.

Little known fact: I have always wanted to be a Dermatologist. The only thing that stopped me was the massive amount of additional education required.

I think my favorite thus far is the High Frequency (violet ray) device. I love it because results are immediate and I’m simply a MAD SCIENTIST at heart. Here’s a little explanation of what I’m talking about.

Every day is a new adventure. Last night Caley taught me to speed wax and demonstrated lymph drainage facial massage. The trick is remembering everything in order and being able to do it at the same time in a timely manner. I’m hoping to get into a groove. So far, so good. I’m embracing the challenge. If something seems difficult in the beginning, I intend to master it before I’m done.

And then… on to the next great adventure in this magnificent journey called life.

Indeed

And the light at the end of that long, dark tunnel gets a little brighter every day. I have less than 1 month before this quarter will be over and I’m just a few services away from completing what I need to finish the state board requirement this far. (I’m even over on some)

Then there’s the extra stuff (glossary words and other miscellaneous homework and check-offs)

I’m going down the list. Then I have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN next quarter with all new miscellaneous additions. However, that will be the last.

July will be a landmark month for me. I have BIG PLANS FOR YOU JULY! I’ve decided to turn part of my office (or spare room… haven’t decided which) into a makeup studio. Of course, when I tell my Dad about this plan, he may suggest a bit of additional construction. I’m fine with that too. *grin* Progress is Progress.

I ordered some professional lighting from B&H a few days ago and am thinking about mirrors and additional decor. I’m thinking I want a custom-built makeup hutch to fill the space. I’ll need to think of floor cover too. Lots to think about, but I need to do it. The epiphany just came to me… I’m surprised it hadn’t before.

I also need to order a ton more teaching supplies if I’m going to be serious about classes. And I need to design and time out a solid curriculum. Luckily, I have some of the most wonderful friends who are more than happy to volunteer. I’m pretty psyched to get this going actually.