“Goodbye to You” - Michelle Branch

Little did I know when I sang this with the other half of my acoustic duo “A to Z” a few years ago how true the words would actually be.

When I started out singing with Paul, my voice was lower. I was timid about hitting high notes in my chest voice. He’d lowered the key on this song, but I still found it a great challenge back then and absolutely loved to sing it. I was coming out of my shell in many ways back then. I was learning to trust again, letting someone into my heart.

It was exactly 3 years and 4 days ago that it happened. I didn’t know it then, but from that point on, I would never be the same. When someone convinces you that you are loved, that they will stay, that you are important to them, that you are soulmates and will be together FOREVER… and then it’s so easy for them to walk away and pretend you never existed at all, your ability to trust becomes fractured beyond repair.

I became a lot meaner, a lot stronger, a lot wiser, and a lot more jaded. I no longer believed in the concept of soulmates, true love, or love in general. I became an extremely bitter realist.

Of course I tried. I met two very kind guys that same year who wanted to give me the world. I made both of them cry. I’m fairly certain they think I’m the devil incarnate. I’m not. I was just broken. I should have taken the time to heal. But you never realize these things until after the damage is done. Like right around now. Wonderful time for an epiphany, don’t you think?

I’m sure this sort of recovery has phases, and I’m not sure which one I’m in. All I know is that every time I put my self out there and attempt to trust someone again, I only end up disappointed. And when I look around me, REALLY look, I see that most everyone is in some sort of phase of their own too.